


Scrawling Italics

by robbiebabe



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, F/M, Louden Swain - Freeform, M/M, Multi, Polyamory, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, mentions of mollie
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-30
Updated: 2017-08-08
Packaged: 2018-11-21 15:44:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 19,425
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11360532
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/robbiebabe/pseuds/robbiebabe
Summary: Rob has always known he has two soulmates, but he’s almost forty and he still hasn’t met them. What will happen when he does?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> If everything goes according to plan, I should be posting new chapters once a week. I should also mention that all three main characters are the same age (meaning, born in 1970), for the sake of context. Let me know what you think!
> 
> Rating is for later chapters.
> 
> Warning for clumsy world building.

_Summer, 1982_  
  
“Mom?” Andrew tapped his mother on the arm to get her attention. She made an inquisitive noise in response, still kneading bread dough on the kitchen counter. He wished she would look at him, but he guessed it was his own fault for coming in here when she was busy. “We talked about soulmates in school today.” 

“Did you?” She asked. “Anything in particular?”

“Um, we talked about people who have two soulmates,” he said, carefully. He knew she wasn’t fond of the fact that he had two names inscribed on his skin, one name on each wrist. On the first day of school, she and his father had given him a watch for his left wrist and a typical soul band for his right, in the hopes that no one would guess that there was a name hidden underneath both. At first he hadn’t realized what it meant, but now he felt as though his parents were ashamed of his having two soulmates. They hadn’t said so in so many words, but he felt it anyway. The fact that one of his names was unmistakably male only seemed to make matters worse. “Why do you think it’s such a bad thing?” he managed, finally.

His mother sighed and pressed the dough harder into the countertop. She seemed already on her way to getting agitated. 

“Andrew, sweetheart, you have to understand,” she said and paused. “It’s just not how the world works. It’s not meant to be that way. You know 40 years ago having two soul names was almost unheard of. Those who did were either confined to celibacy or shunned by their communities.”

“But Mrs Davis says that 15 years ago is when a lot more people started being born with two soulmates, and that we don’t know why, but people think it’s because the world is so hateful and this was meant to bring more light and love into the world,” he blurted, regretting the words before they left his lips. Why did he always have to get so carried away? He knew she wouldn’t believe him. He just wanted to make her see. Wanted to make her happy for him instead of ashamed of him.

She scoffed at him, finally lowering the dough into a bowl and putting a cloth over it to let it rise. She asked him to sit with her at the table. He complied.

“I know you don’t like to come to church with us, and that when you do, you don’t exactly listen,” she said, pointedly. “But you must have heard father Benjamin’s sermons telling us that all the people who are born with two soul names were never meant to be with both of them at the same time. That so many more people than before are born with two names is because God saw that too many people in the world never met their soulmates, or had their soulmates die young. So God gave some people more than one soulmate, just in case.”

He could tell that she wasn’t done, but he interrupted her all the same. “Doesn’t that mean God blessed people like me? That he picked us out to have a greater chance to find love?” 

Her response was swift, as if she didn’t even have to think about it. “That’s a nice thought, Andrew, but it doesn’t work like that. God gave you two soul names to test your spirit and your fidelity. It means you have to work that much harder to stay with your true soulmate. I won’t allow you to let yourself be led astray. You will meet your Julianna and live happily ever after, and that’s the end of it.”

“But why do you have to see it like that? What does that even mean?” he asked, raising his voice. He didn’t want to cry, but his mother’s words were so harsh. “Why shouldn’t I get to be with both of them?” he asked, desperate for some kind of empathetic response in return.

“Because you are better than that,” she said firmly, dashing his hopes of making her understand.

He stormed out of the house and got on his bike, heedless of his mother’s calls. 

That was the last time he would bring it up to her in almost twenty years.  
  
  


* * *

  
   
 _Fall, 1989_  
  
He met her several times without realizing it was her. The first time, she asked to sit at his table in the library, since all the other ones were occupied. He was taken aback by how pretty she was, her long brown hair messy and covering her eyes, but despite that he just about managed to tell her she’d be welcome to sit. Twenty minutes later he’d forgotten that she was there and groaned out loud in frustration at his course book and its unnecessarily involved way of explaining its subject.

“That bad, huh?” she said, a twinkle in her eye, and they got to talking. She told him her name was Julie, which didn’t immediately lead his mind to the name on his right wrist.

It was weeks into their library-exclusive acquaintance, making a rather accidental habit out of sitting with each other and commiserating over their studies, that she asked him point-blank what his soul name was.

He bristled at her in response. Heaven knows he hadn’t inherited his parents’ conservative beliefs, but he wasn’t used to someone asking him so brazenly to reveal one of the most private things he had. Then it struck him that her name was Julie, which could conceivably be short for Julianna.

She seemed to notice his hesitance, and apologized. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable. My parents are real hippies about this stuff, sometimes I forget that not everybody’s like that.”

“No,” he said gently. “It’s alright. You just surprised me.” He took a deep breath. He contemplated telling her both his soul names at once, but thought better of it. One thing at a time. He carefully unclasped the soul band on his wrist and turned it to show her.

She stared at it, just as openly and rudely as she had asked the question. Then she met his eyes and he could see it in her awed expression - she was looking at her own name. “I would show you, but-” she said cryptically, covering her mouth with her hand in shock. “Do you have another one?” she asked, making him feel more intensely scrutinized than ever before.

He didn’t bother answering, instead just removing his watch, trying not to fumble with the fastening. The name Robert Patrick Benedict was visible in scrawling italics against his skin. He could hardly look away from it himself.

“You have to come with me!” she said suddenly, flying out of her chair and gathering her things quickly. He started to do the same, but was distracted by her tugging on his hand. “Come on,” she urged eagerly, excitement evident in her voice. 

Finally he had everything back in his bag and turned to take her hand, letting her lead him out of the library and towards her dorm.

When they got there, it became quickly apparent to him why she couldn’t have showed him her soul names in return. He watched her strip off her jumper and then her t-shirt, leaving her in a no-frills, skin-tone bra. Underneath each of her breasts was a name, one of them his and the other, his soulmate’s. He was speechless. She was almost in tears. They stared at each other for a long moment, neither of them - he suspected - really knowing how to react. Then she smiled, and he mirrored her expression, until they were both laughing with relief. She approached him and he enveloped her into his arms like it was the hundredth time, not the first.  
 ****  
  


* * *

  
  
_Spring, 1994_  
  
His mother had told him, a hundred times, how lucky he was to have met his soulmate so young. And she was right, of course, but there was always an underlying smugness to remarks like that. As he stared down at the jewelry box which held the engagement ring he had bought for Julie he couldn’t help but wonder if he was doing the right thing. He and Julie had talked about their other soulmate several times over the years they’d been together. They had laid in bed together, wondering what he was like, where he was, when they’d meet him. Andrew had taken to calling him Rob in his head, even though he had no way of knowing which diminutive his soulmate preferred. 

He knew both he and Julie thought about him a lot, and for that reason he had been long hesitant to propose to her. He imagined that meeting Rob was just around the corner, and in an ideal world, he’d want to wait for him. Something didn’t feel right about getting married, entering into this lifelong union, without their third, a man who they didn’t know but who was just as much their soulmate as they were each other’s. But both of their families had been pressuring them to get married for a while now. So had their group of friends, most of whom didn’t even know that they had a third out there somewhere. Julie was, to her credit, not a shameful person, but Andrew still suffered from the teachings of his upbringing, and he feared the judgment they would face if they were open about the fact that they were not like most other people.

Acceptance and normalization of sets of soulmates as opposed to pairs was increasing every day, but it was a slow process, and Andrew was well aware that it took a long time for societal conventions and perceptions to shift. So he thought about his other soulmate silently, privately, for the most part and the more time passed without them meeting him, the more anxious those thoughts were becoming. But he also knew that they couldn’t wait for him forever. He didn’t want to go through life with Julie feeling like that life hadn’t even started yet. And he didn’t want her to feel like she wasn’t enough for him. She was. She was all he knew. He loved her more than anything.

Having made his decision, he pushed away his remaining doubts and started arranging the patio with candles and flowers and music. He didn’t want to propose at an extravagant, public dinner, but he did want it to be special.

When he asked her, after a more or less impromptu speech straight from the heart about what he felt for her, and why he loved her, she accepted him without a moment’s hesitation. It was only after they had made love that night, lying next to each other on top of the blankets, that she expressed any kind of melancholy about the whole thing. She took his left arm and laid it, palm up, on her soft stomach. She traced the name there, absently. 

He craned his neck to look over at her, waiting for her to speak.

“Do you think he’ll be upset with us? Disappointed?” she asked, voice soft.

Andrew sighed. “I don’t know,” he answered, truthfully. “But- I think, if he’s anything like you or I, then- I think he’d want us to do whatever we can to be happy until we meet him.” He retrieved his hand and turned over to cup her left breast, thus covering Rob’s name with his hand. He kissed her shoulder softly and looked up at her.

“What if we never meet him?” she whispered, eyes filling up.

“You can’t think like that,” he said in response, even though he’d had the same fears.

“It’s not that I wouldn’t-” she started, and he didn’t think he’d ever heard her voice sound so fragile. “I would be happy spending the rest of my life with you. With just you. You know that. But-”

“But there’s a piece of the puzzle missing,” he filled in, burrowing closer. “I know. We’ll just have to be patient,” he said, with more confidence than he actually felt. “Who knows? Maybe we’ll meet him tomorrow.”  
  
  


* * *

  
  
_Winter, 1998_  
  
He had stopped wearing a watch on his left wrist, and instead wore a soft leather band with a soulmate symbol inscribed on it, leaving no one to mistake it for anything other than what it was: a soul band. He was officially done pretending that Julie was his only soulmate, that there wasn’t someone else out there, waiting for them. He was proud of his second soulmate, he was hoping to meet him and make him a part of their lives, he wasn’t ashamed.

It had upset his mother spectacularly when she’d seen it at the latest family dinner. She’d taken him aside and whispered furiously at him to change it back immediately. When he threatened to take it off entirely instead, something which was almost never done in public before the soulmate was found, she had been forced to let it go. It didn’t stop her from glaring at him for the rest of the dinner. She didn’t want him to, through that soul band, reveal to his friends and coworkers that though he had a name on his right wrist belonging to his wife, he also had another. But he was a lot older now, and he needed to make his own decisions. Most of his colleagues didn’t even say anything and his friends were more perturbed that he hadn’t told them before than disgusted or judgmental. 

Julie had agreed with his decision, of course. It might be painful for them sometimes, to be reminded of it, but they were not afraid of people knowing about their third. They had been together now for nine years, and they still hadn’t met him. Some days it was easy not to worry about him, but Andrew did think about him, every single day. Sometimes he sat in their little office, just staring out of the window, when Julie came home from her workout. She knew without even asking, by now, exactly what he was thinking of in moments like that.

While he became silent and introspective when missing a man he didn’t even know, Julie became irritable. It always ended in a big fight, one or both of them storming off only to come crashing back together not ten minutes later, apologizing or having make-up sex, after which they inevitably both felt better than they did before. That they were missing him, and sometimes worrying themselves silly over his wellbeing, it was just a part of their lives by now. Their life without Robert was still full of thoughts of him, and they were mostly okay with that.  
  
  


* * *

  
  
_Late March, 2009_  
  
He didn’t know what had gotten into him. They had decided, a few years ago, not to actively try to find Rob. Julie was so convinced it had to be a natural meeting, that they would find each other at the right time. She believed in all that. And sure, he had pretended to agree, and tried to let it go, but deep down he didn’t care about that stuff. He just wanted to find him, the sooner the better. It had been so long already.

It wasn’t a conscious decision on this sunny April morning, to google the name of their soulmate.  _Google_. It hadn’t occurred to him before, that he might be able to find Rob just by typing his name into a search engine. Even as he did it, he wasn’t really aware of what he was doing. It’s not like he was expecting it to yield any significant results. Most likely whoever their man was, he wouldn’t just have an online profile that would be easy to find. But then- 

An actor. Pictures. An IMDB page. Rob Benedict, born Robert Patrick Benedict.

He couldn’t breathe for the longest moment. He pulled up a picture of the man. Wavy brown hair, smiling, piercing blue eyes. He was beautiful. 

He left the computer on as he ran out into the yard, where Julie was puttering with her flowers in the garden. He had to keep reminding himself to breathe. “Julie,” he said, and his voice must have sounded like,  _something_ , because she turned around instantly, looking worried.

“What’s up, honey?” she said, moving towards him.

“I- I’m sorry,” he started. I didn’t think before I-” he tried again. “I just googled him.”

“What?”

He reached out his hands to her, and she took them without hesitation, dirt embedded into her fingernails. “He’s an actor,” he said, excitement finally beginning to overcome the shock he was feeling.

“Who is?” 

“I didn’t mean to undermine our decision, honey, I really didn’t. It just happened.” Those were all the excuses he was going to make, he decided. “You have to come see.”

He took her hand and rushed into the house, for a moment struck by the memory of her doing this to him just after he had shown her his soul marks.

She was strangely silent behind him, but she followed. When they got into the office he woke up the computer and the first thing he did was show her the picture. He wrapped his arms around her waist from behind, watching her look at the screen.

“Oh my god,” she whispered, finally, leaning into him, eyes still fixed on the picture. 

“ _Look at him_ ,” he murmured, almost reverently.

“Are you sure it’s him?” she asked, sounding much the same.

“As sure as I can be,” he said, not even entertaining the notion that it wasn’t. He couldn’t explain it, it wasn’t rational, but he _felt_  that it was him.

She turned around and looked up at him. There were tears in her eyes, but she looked happy. “What should we do?” she asked.

“You want to do anything?” he couldn’t help but ask. This hadn’t exactly been planned, and he didn’t want to force anything on her.

“I think we have to,” she said. “I can’t not do anything. If you’re okay with it?”

He smiled, and could only lean down to kiss her softly.

“I’ve got an idea,” he said, later.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did a lot of decluttering in this chapter, so it's a little shorter than the others, but I hope it still makes sense. Tell me what you think so far!

When Rob got a sudden phone call from his agent at 7 am in the morning, he didn’t know what to expect. An urgent audition? Some kind of scandal? His agent had to be aware that shooting Supernatural wasn’t exactly conducive to sleep, and so when his schedule allowed it, it shouldn’t be interrupted.

“I have an email here I think you need to see,” was what he said when Rob answered the call.

“Yeah?” he muttered, still drowsy. “What’s it about? And why’s it so urgent you had to call and wake me up?”

“Are you at your computer?” his agent asked.

“Hang on,” Rob hauled himself up, started his computer and went to put the coffee on while it booted up. He headed back to the computer and sat down. “Yeah, I’m here.”

“I’m gonna tell you what it’s about, and then I’ll forward it to you so you can read it for yourself.”

“Is it an audition or something?” he couldn’t help but ask.

There was a hesitation on the other end of the line. “No. Nothing like that.” he paused again. “I’ve been contacted by a husband and wife who claim that they’re your soulmates,” he said carefully. “Their names are Andrew and Julianna.” 

_ Oh hell.  _ Rob froze. “Seriously?” he squeaked. There was no way.

“I’ve sent it to you now,” his agent said. “I’m happy for you, man. I didn’t even know you had two soulmates.”

Rob barely registered what he said, and then the line went dead. He put the phone down and logged into his job email account, and found the most recent email.

 

_ SOULMATE INQUIRY _

_ Dear Mr. Wright, _

_ I am writing to you in hopes that you will pass along the names of myself and my wife to your client, Rob Benedict. My full name is Andrew Jonathan Carney and my wife’s is Julianna April Moser, and we believe that your client is our soulmate. Attached you will find pictures of our soul names. _

_ If you would be so kind as to also pass along a message, we would greatly appreciate it. A little bit about ourselves is that I am an accountant, Julie is a music journalist, and we have been married for 15 years. We have no children, but we do love our two cats. More importantly, we would like to say to Rob that we have been waiting for him for a long time, and we would very much like to hear from him, if indeed his names match ours.  _

_ Sincerely yours, _

_ Andrew Carney _

_ -telephone number- _

_ -address- _

 

Hand shaking, he clicked on the first attachment. A man’s wrists came into view, one bearing Rob’s own name, and the other one of the names that Rob knew almost better than his own. He moved on to the second picture, and had to swallow a gasp. This picture was far more artful. It almost looked like a professional picture. But the subject matter was more interesting than the format. Visible in the picture was a woman’s torso, not her face, her hands covering her breasts and - it looked like - lifting them slightly to expose the names inscribed below them. Again, one of the names was his own, and the other his soulmate’s. It was real. They were real. And they wanted him. It was more than he had ever dared to hope for, at least since he was very, very young.

Shakily, he stood up and pulled the waistband of his pants down. There, on each hipbone, were his names. He wondered if they would want pictures too. Then he realized it was up to him now, to make contact. And he could call them whenever he wanted. He could call them right now.

Taking a moment to imagine how that phone call would go, he decided he wasn’t quite ready for that just yet. He went to get his coffee, instead, overwhelmed by the unexpectedly momentous nature of the morning.

  
  


* * *

  
  


They didn’t know whether they could expect him to call. Or when. Julie mentioned that maybe he’d rather send them an email. Suffice it to say, they were both a bit of a mess after pressing the send button on that email to Rob’s agent. After trying to sleep for more than an hour, Julie turned around for the umpteenth time and asked if they couldn’t just get up and sit in the kitchen for a while.

Andrew made them some hot cocoa and then they sat there at the kitchen table, at two-thirty in the morning, holding each other’s hands and talking quietly.

“Will he even be bi, do you think?” Andrew managed after a while. This was a doubt that had been lurking in the back of his mind for a long time. Most soulmates were of the romantic and sexual kind, but some were only ever meant to be platonic. The only other set of three soulmates they had ever met had been like that, where the man had a romantic relationship with both of the women whereas the women were not romantic with each other.

“Oh, honey. I think he will,” Julie said in response. “You know Mark, Jo and Elizabeth were pretty unusual in their arrangement,” she reminded him, again knowing exactly what he was thinking of. “I know one thing for sure,” she said.

“What?”

“He’s gonna love you,” she said. Suddenly they weren’t second-guessing the whole thing so much. Maybe he was just tired, but Andrew figured, they were soulmates. It was meant to be. They might have to fight to make it work, just like in any relationship, but it would work. 

“I hope he calls soon,” he murmured, feeling very optimistic that he would.

“I’m sure he will,” Julie said. It was more than a platitude.

They sat there quietly for a while, neither of them feeling the need to fill a silence after so many years together. Andrew figured they both knew what the other was thinking, anyway.

  
  


* * *

  
  


Julie was just about to go meet with an artist for an interview when the landline began to ring. As she didn’t recognize the number, she realized there was a possibility that it might be Rob. It had been three days since they sent that email. 

She picked it up. “Julie speaking,” she said, a little proud that her voice remained steady.

The other end was quiet for longer than was considered normal, and for a moment she thought it might have been some kind of prank call or misdial. Then-

“Hi- this is Rob Benedict. Am I speaking to Julie Moser?”

“Hi,” she said dumbly, heart lodged somewhere in her throat. “Yes. It- it’s me.” 

As if they knew each other already.

“Hi,” he said again, sounding happy. “I got your email, a couple days ago. I just- I couldn’t believe it.”

“Neither could we, when we saw you online,” she said, when it became apparent he was waiting for a response. “We never expected it to be that easy.”

“No kidding,” he said good-naturedly. “How- how are you?”

She stifled an incredulous giggle. “Good. Yeah. Good.” 

They exchanged a few platitudes, both sort of in shock, before Rob asked her: “So, why did you try to find me now? Why now?” 

She worried her lip for a second, the whole situation hard to get a handle on, her heart beating uncomfortably fast. “We decided to wait to meet you naturally. I was the one, who pushed for that,” she fumbled. “So that’s why we didn’t look before. But then, it got into Andrew’s head, I think, to check online. And there you were. And then we  _ had to _ find you.”

“I’m glad you did.”

Hope flared in her chest. “We didn’t know whether you’d want to meet us,” she said.

“Of course I do,” he said immediately, and she smiled. His voice was warm, and kind, and he also sounded a little bit breathy, like he was nervous too. “I can’t say I’ve spent my whole life twiddling my thumbs, but, I am the kind of person who believes in this stuff.” 

“So are we.” Even though it was the absolute truth she still felt a stab of guilt when she said that. She remembered a fight they’d had, the day before they got married, and wondered if they’d made the right decision. She brushed the thought aside. It was so long ago, now. 

“So-” a pause. He spoke quickly. “You’ve been together for a long time?”

She smiled, and thought she knew what he was thinking. It had always been bittersweet, that as early as she and Andrew had found each other they had spent their whole marriage, in a way, waiting for someone else.

“20 years,” she said, in a tone she felt reflected this. “We went to the same college, UCLA. Met at the library.”

“Wow.”

She could imagine the whole thing being overwhelming for him. It wasn’t so much what they were talking about, but the idea of what could happen, the potential that stretched before them.

“But, wait,” Rob said suddenly. “You met in ‘89, but you didn’t get married until five years later?”

Most soulmates got married within a year of meeting each other, it was true. It was a reasonable question for him to ask. They were also skirting closer and closer to the subject of that fight all those years ago. Ensconced in that fight, and the days surrounding it, was the source of her feelings of guilt. However minor and irrelevant those thoughts had seemed for so long. They got married without their third. Rationally, she knew they had done the right thing. It wouldn’t have been healthy to put their lives on hold for a man they’d never met. But the guilt was there all the same, along with fear that he wouldn’t be able to forgive them. They had gotten married without him. “Um, we wanted to wait, at first,” she tried, finally. “To meet you,” she clarified, perhaps unnecessarily. It struck her all over again just who she was talking to, and she had to take a deep breath before continuing. Andrew was still at work, he’d be at work all day, unless he decided to come home for lunch. This was hard to do, especially alone. “Then, eventually, we realized that it was holding us back, and it wasn’t healthy. It- it wasn’t an easy decision.”

“Well, I don’t- I don’t blame you at all, for doing that. That would be absurd. You don’t know how much I’ve thought about the both of you over the years and hoped that you had found each other.” 

“Really?” She could feel her eyes tearing up, and pinched the bridge of her nose. It would be so pathetic if she started to cry, just from that. She had always wondered what kind of person Rob would be, how he could possibly fit into the relationship she already had with Andrew, but, after just this short conversation she was ready to believe wholeheartedly that he was a good man.

“Of course,” he replied. They were silent for a moment. “Tell me about you,” he asked, voice so soft she did a double-take. Years of wondering how this man would be. She was getting a glimpse of it, finally.

“Um, I’m a music journalist. I think Andrew said that in the email. I write a lot about new EDM and house stuff, interview DJs and that kinda thing. Sometimes I branch out into other genres, but that’s where people actually care about what I have to say, sometimes. I have a podcast about it too, it’s a lot of fun.”

“Totally! I can’t say I know a lot about that kind of music, but I do love music in general, especially rock and alternative.”

She could feel her face lighting up. “Yeah? Anything in particular?”

“Well, um,” he chuckled. “I’m a card-carrying member of the Pearl Jam fan club, for one,” he offered.

She smiled, and was about to say something cutesy back, when he continued.

“But I actually have my own band, too.”

“No way!”

“We’re not professional or anything, we all have other jobs, but the album we put out recently is actually kind of good.”

“Wow. I wanna hear that,” she said honestly. Musicians were always the coolest people. “What do you play?”

“I’m, uh, I’m the lead singer and I play guitar,” he replied, somewhat bashfully.

“That’s awesome,” she said. “I bet you’re great.” 

She hoped his band really was awesome so she could tease him about his - seemingly - low confidence in it. She paused, hand clasped over her mouth. She was getting way ahead of herself, already imagining all sorts of things with Rob just because she knew he was supposed to be right for her. It didn’t always work out that way. In fairness, it usually did work out, but being soulmates was not a guarantee for happiness or compatibility, perhaps especially when there were three people involved. Circumstances in life, or society, often prevented soulmates from being happy with each other even though personality-wise and emotionally they were a good fit. It was a risk. One that she didn’t want to consider, but had to keep somewhere in the back of her mind, just in case.

“I’m decent,” he conceded eventually, and she could almost sense him, too, remembering himself. 

She thought to look at the clock, and saw that she was about to miss her lunch meeting if she didn’t get going right now. She’d have to call and say she’d be late too. Shit. She didn’t want to go, but she couldn’t excuse it if she didn’t. “I just realized,” she began, “I have a meeting, and I have to-” she cut herself off at the sound of the front door opening and closing. Andrew was home.

“Yeah- of course!” Rob said. “So sorry if I held you up, I should’ve asked, I’m sorry.”

“No no, no,” she had to reassure him, while frantically making her way through the house to meet her husband in the open plan area which served as their kitchen and living room. “Do not apologize,” she said, making wide-eyed eye contact with Andrew, who was wordlessly asking her who she was speaking with. “It’s not important. I’m so happy you called, it’s been great talking to you.” The understatement of a century - she cursed herself for not being more eloquent. 

_ Rob,  _ she mouthed at Andrew, noticing his sharp intake of breath and look of understanding. She smiled.

“It’s been great talking to you too,” Rob said, pulling her back into the conversation. “Finally,” he added with a little sigh, both rueful and a little reverent. “I’m still sorry, though. I’ll let you go.”

“Don’t be,” she said firmly, still smiling. She didn’t have to look at Andrew’s gesturing to know that he wanted to talk to Rob too, so she said: “Actually, Andrew just walked through the door, if you wanna talk to him.”

“I- yeah! Of course!” he said brightly, with such enthusiasm that Julie felt her smile turn fond. He was adorable.

“Okay, I’ll put you on,” she said. “I’ll talk to you soon,” she added, not even thinking about it.

“Yeah, totally!”

“Bye.”   


“Bye,” he echoed.

Smiling so hard her cheeks hurt, she handed over the phone to Andrew, giving him a quick, tight hug before she had to tear herself away and run out the door.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Mentions of Mollie (with the utmost respect, as always)

Andrew had barely gotten through the door before he saw Julie coming towards him, speaking to somebody on the phone. Seeing her was unexpected, because he knew she had an interview around this time. They made eye contact, and Julie looked really serious, and his first thought was that there had been some kind of accident, so he gestured vaguely in hopes that she’d fill him in. Then he heard her words to the other person. 

“It’s not important. I’m so happy you called, it’s been great talking to you,” she said. Continuing to look at him, Julie mouthed  _Rob_.

Andrew realized. Their Rob. On the phone. Right now. He had to talk to him. Julie couldn’t let him go without letting him speak to him first. He listened as they said goodbye, and was astounded to hear how familiar she seemed with him already. It warmed his heart to see the genuine smile on her face as she handed him the phone and hugged him, so much so that he was distracted from preparing himself for who he was about to speak to.

“Hello?” came out of his mouth before he could stop it. The front door clicked behind him as Julie closed it from the other side.

“Hi,” a slightly breathy voice responded.

“How  _are_ you?” he asked, not sure how else to begin a conversation.

“Yeah, good, uh, a little overwhelmed,” he laughed a little. “I would’ve called earlier, but I wanted to wait until my day off.” 

“Yeah? Are you acting, or?” He wiped his hands on his pants, trying not to think about his nerves.

“Yeah, I’m up in Vancouver right now, just started shooting an episode of a show called Supernatural. It’s not a huge part, but it’s pretty hectic, crazy hours, that kind of thing.”

“That sounds cool. Are you- Did you always wanna be an actor, or?” he tried, sifting through everything he wanted to know in his mind.

“Oh- yeah, yeah. Ever since I was a kid. I did a lot of community theater back in Missouri.”

“That’s awesome,” he said, thinking through the few things he knew about Missouri.

“Yeah, yeah I love it.”

Andrew tried to think of something, anything, to say in response, but came up blank. He wanted to do this right, to make a good first impression, but for the life of him he couldn’t think of a good place to start. In some ways he’d had his whole life to prepare to speak to Rob, but he still wasn’t ready. “I’m sorry, I don’t really know what to say.”

“That’s okay,” Rob said immediately. “I don’t think any of us were thinking- that this was gonna happen so quickly. For lack of a better term.”

“Definitely not. But I was- I was close to hiring someone to find you, about five years ago.”

“You were?”

“Then I talked it through with Julie, and, ultimately we decided we didn’t want to force it. I think we were kind of- scared, too. But, Rob, make no mistake - meeting you has been on our minds ever since we met.” Just using his name for the first time was something special, more like an incantation than a name, as if, magically, speaking it had invoked his presence.

“I think- I’m in a better place now, than I was five years ago. So, it’s probably for the best, honestly,” Rob said, more than piquing Andrew’s curiosity. But he continued, so Andrew couldn’t question him on it. “So what was your reaction when you just found me online?”

He exhaled audibly, shaking his head. “I don’t know, I was just shocked. I don’t think I was expecting it to be this easy.”

“Julie said the same thing.”

“Honestly, though? When I saw your picture, the first thing I thought was ‘wow, he’s cute’.”

Rob’s response was something close to a giggle, which made him smile into the phone. “That’s not true,” Rob said.

“It absolutely is true.”

“Well, that’s unfair,” he said determinedly. “I don’t know what you look like.”

“That picture of Julie wasn’t enough?” Andrew asked, a teasing lilt to his voice, but also just curious as to how Rob would respond.

“I mean- that was- that was something else,” he said, his voice rising in pitch.

“That reminds me, actually, it’s maybe not a first conversation kind of question, but-” he hesitated.

“What is it?”

“If you feel like answering, I mean,” he paused, thinking about one of the questions he’d always wanted to ask. “Where are your marks?” 

Rob chuckled. “Uh, well. On my hips.”

Andrew couldn’t help but picture it. “Oh. Uh. That’s-”

“Mhm.”

That was hot. He had to try to steer his mind away from thoughts like that. “So, uh, would you want to meet us, when you get back to the area?” he switched topics, going for a perhaps more important subject.

“Uh, yes. Of course I would,” Rob said, and though the words themselves sounded like what he wanted to hear, there was something behind them that worried him. 

“Is there a but?” he asked.

He was met with a protracted silence. “No, no, not at all,” Rob replied, finally. “Look, I’ll be in Vancouver for the next two weeks, and then I’ll be back in LA. And then, you know, whenever you’ve both got time I figure you can come over to my house. I’ll cook breakfast or something and we can talk- or whatever.”

“Yeah. We’d love that,” he said, still a little questioning as to what was the matter with Rob just then. “Is there any reason why you’d hesitate?” he asked, carefully.

“Um, I just- I want to meet you guys more than anything. But I just don’t want you to think I’ve been sitting around waiting my whole life. I just don’t know what you- expect.”

“Neither of us are expecting  _that_. Trust me. You don’t have anything to worry about,” he replied immediately. He did know some people who barely looked at others in the years before they met their soulmate, but after a certain number of years had passed, he had never pictured Rob like that. They were almost forty, for crying out loud.

“Okay. Yeah.” He sighed. “We’ll work it out.”

“We will.” There definitely seemed to be a story there, and while Andrew was anxious to find it out, he could also appreciate that maybe that was a conversation best had face to face. This was, after all, the first time they had even spoken to each other, even though it didn’t quite feel that way.

“I should probably get going,” Rob said.

“Yeah, of course.” Andrew hadn’t been looking at the time, but now saw that his lunch hour was almost up. He smiled a little to himself. This was more important than anything so mundane as that. “Before you go, I just wanna get something out of the way.” There was one more thing he wanted to say, something that he had planned to wait to talk about but found that he couldn’t stop himself, even though the prospect of saying it got his heart racing.

“Sure.”

“I know people tend to have some interesting ideas and opinions on sets of soulmates, and people have all kinds of arrangements, but I want you to know - and of course it’s okay if you feel differently- but, ever since I was a little boy I’ve imagined that when I met my soulmates I would fall in love with- with both of them.” 

There was a short moment of silence on the other end, which was enough to trigger his anxiety, but then Rob said “Yeah,” in that breathy tone of his that Andrew was already getting fond of. “You know. Same.”

Andrew couldn’t help but laugh. Rob had managed to cut through his awkward seriousness while still giving him an earnest response. “God, you’re adorable,” slipped out of his mouth before he could stop it. Grateful that no one was there to witness it, he could feel himself blushing.

“I’ve been called that before.”

“I bet,” he murmured, stopping himself from saying anything more. “You know, I- I can’t wait to see you.”

“Me too. Absolutely. Maybe I can call again, in a few days?” Rob asked.

“Please do,” he said seriously, his mind suddenly filling up with all the things he wanted to know about Rob that he hadn’t even thought to talk about yet. He wanted to know everything.

“Okay,” Rob said, smile evident in his voice.

“Bye, Rob,” he said, using his name again, just because he could. He liked the way it sounded coming from his lips, now that there was an actual person connected to it.

“Bye.”

Andrew was fairly sure that that was one of the most intense conversations of his entire life. Maybe the next ones wouldn’t be as intense, now that the first time was out of the way, but he really couldn’t wait to find out.

  
 

* * *

  
Andrew could barely look at Julie on the drive over to Rob’s house. After all this time, and after a month of knowing him but not being able to meet him, the nerves he felt were almost paralyzing. Before they even pulled into his neighborhood he could feel his heart beating ever faster in his chest, the kind of anticipation that couldn’t be kept inside, that expressed itself in his body in a way he couldn’t control. Julie wasn’t necessarily any better, but she did have to concentrate on driving, and so, maybe couldn’t drive herself crazy as much as he could.

After consulting their GPS, they finally pulled up outside what they believed to be Rob’s home. He couldn’t believe they had lived less than forty minutes away from each other all this time. He and Julie caught each other’s eye and took a deep breath in unison.

“You ready?” he said.

“I think I am,” she said after a beat of silence. They got out, and walked up to the front door. Rob, as he opened the door, looked radiant. The pictures online didn’t do him justice.

“Hi!” he said, looking nervous, and Andrew had to remind himself to wipe the expression of awe from his face. He just couldn’t fathom that they were meeting their soulmate now, for real, finally.

“Hi,” he replied.

Rob had been a figment of his imagination for so many years, and how Andrew had imagined him looking and acting had evolved as the years went by, but nothing he’d thought up could compare to having the man, physically in front of him. He couldn’t help but surge forward to hug him, feeling the shorter man, to his relief, instantly reciprocating. He managed to stop short of picking him up off the ground, but it was a close shave. He held him in his arms for a split second, before reluctantly stepping back.

This gave him the chance to witness Rob and Julie smiling, almost wondrously, at each other, before they both simultaneously stepped forward to embrace each other. Rob was a tiny bit shorter than Julie, Andrew realized. For some reason he hadn’t been expecting him to be quite so short, but it was fucking endearing. As they separated, Andrew put an absent hand on the small of Julie’s back, on top of the soft fabric of her sundress. It had taken her forever to pick that dress out, but she was beautiful, as always. He noticed she kept a hold of one of Rob’s hands as they stood there, barely inside the house.

“Alright, well, come in,” Rob said. “I made some breakfast.” 

Andrew followed the two of them into a large, homey kitchen, and looked on smiling as Rob lead Julie to the kitchen table before he turned back to the countertop to fetch the food.

“Is there anything I can help you with?” he asked.

“Oh no, go sit down,” Rob insisted, putting down two plates heaped with food and turning to Andrew to give him a gentle nudge towards the table.

After Rob brought them all the food - pancakes, fruit, bacon, fried eggs, salad, muffins, just a huge amount of breakfast food - he sat down opposite them and asked them to tuck in.

“I didn’t know you could cook,” Andrew said, perhaps somewhat superfluously judging by Rob’s good-natured deadpan look. There were still so many things they didn’t know about Rob.

“I enjoy it, but I don’t have a lot of time for it,” Rob said, smiling.

“We’ve always been useless at it, haven’t we?” Julie said, locking eyes with Andrew. It was a familiar topic of jocularity for the two of them, how worthless they’d both always been at cooking.

“It’s definitely gotten better, though,” he replied. “I remember making a perfectly passable Sunday dinner just the other week.”

“Yeah, okay,” Julie conceded, sharing a look with Rob. “But just yesterday he was making grilled cheese sandwiches and ended up setting off the fire alarm.”

Andrew laughed, happy to see that so did Rob.

“That’s impressive,” Rob said seriously, before breaking out into a smile and making eye contact with him. 

They kept talking through breakfast, focusing on light-hearted subjects and fun facts about each other, and Andrew was sort of thrilled that it was working. Spending time with Rob seemed, at least from this limited experience, to be easy. Effortless. Sure, there was tension in the air, as they were all aware of what they all actually were to each other, but that tension was just exciting, not oppressive or obtrusive as Andrew had feared it would be. He had to stop himself from staring at Rob for too long at a time, because he ended up so distracted that he could barely hear what he was saying. Towards the end of the meal he was starting to notice Rob’s eyes going to his soul band more and more, and eventually Andrew couldn’t help but address it.

There was a slight lull in the conversation. He cleared his throat, catching Rob’s eye. He reached his hand across the table, palm up. “You can remove it, if you want,” he said softly. It was always a bit of a step, seeing your soulmate’s marks for the first time, and everyone handled it differently. Having the name on your wrist was the most common placement, giving rise to a whole ceremony connected to the removal of the soul band, but only the most conservative still adhered to that. His parents would certainly have waited until much further along in their acquaintance, but then again, had he been like his parents he never would’ve acknowledged his second soulmate in the first place.

“Really?” Rob said.

“Of course.” He felt a bit awkward, putting himself out there, but felt Julie put her hand on top of his right, right above  _her_  name. She smiled at them both.

A little hesitatingly, Rob used both of his hands to unclasp the wrist band. It fell away, and they could all see Rob’s name clear as day on his wrist. He hadn’t thought about it so much, before, but he got why this was a big deal for some people, because it made it feel a lot more real.

He felt Julie snuggle into his side and press a kiss to his shoulder. Rob, meanwhile, went over the name with his thumb. Andrew was surprised to feel goosebumps on his arm as a result. Rob’s hands were more calloused than he was expecting, but then he realized it must be from playing guitar so much.

“I’m gonna make a start on the dishes,” Julie said softly after an indeterminable amount of time, breaking the tension of the moment.

Rob shot up just as quickly. “No, you don’t have to do that!”

Andrew smiled as he put his soul band in his pocket, listening to Julie try to bully Rob into letting her help him with the dishes. While they were still discussing it, Andrew got up, picked up their plates, and made his way over to the kitchen sink. He could get used to this.

  
 

* * *

  
They ended up making quick work of the dishes, after which Rob suggested they take their coffees into the living room. It was just too hot to go outside, and the air conditioned living room seemed a lot more appealing. Andrew and Julie shared a look as they walked ahead. By some unspoken agreement they sat on the large couch with enough space between them for Rob to sit, which he did. 

“So. I wanted to talk about some stuff,” Rob said, looking between the both of them nervously.

Julie smiled at him, her best reassuring smile, something which Andrew knew very well. “Whatever you want,” she said. 

“Um, I wanted to tell you about some of my background, that we haven’t had the chance to talk about yet,” Rob said tentatively. 

Andrew noticed he seemed more nervous now than he had since they got there. He tried to exude the same kind of reassurance towards Rob as Julie had, and ended up putting his arm over the back of the sofa. Julie, on the other side of Rob, had tucked her legs underneath herself and was giving Rob all her attention.

Rob, in turn, was sitting cross-legged between them. It was just another thing he found adorable about him. 

“I had a couple girlfriends in high school, but nobody special, and then in college I met a girl called Mollie. We were together until we left college and went off to different places,” he said, sounding as serious as he had done when he told them the story of his father on the phone the other day. “We lost touch for a while, but a few years later, she came back into my circle of friends in LA and told me all about how she had met her soulmate and how it hadn’t worked out for various reasons. She was so sad and disillusioned. And, at this point in the mid-nineties,” Rob grimaced. “I was feeling sort of similar. You know, I was getting tired of feeling like I was waiting around for something, and, I went through a period of feeling really cynical about the whole soulmate  _thing_. So, uh, Mollie and I fell back into our relationship, and, after being together for more than three years,” Rob took a deep breath, not looking either of them in the eye. “We decided to get married,” he continued.

He looked visibly uncomfortable, and Andrew wanted to do anything he could to alleviate that, so he let the hand he had on the back of the couch drift down to Rob’s shoulders, where he rubbed his thumb over the back of Rob’s neck gently. “Is that okay?” he had to lean in to ask him.

Rob looked up, surprised, but he nodded. He smiled a little ruefully. “We were married for about five years, and got divorced in 2004,” he finished.

Andrew thought back to their first conversation and had a bit of an epiphany. “Hence why it was better for us to find you now than back then,” he ventured.

“Exactly,” Rob said, not looking at him again. 

“Why did you divorce?” Julie asked, taking Rob’s left hand in hers.

He looked at her suddenly. “Um, we- we kinda grew out of being in love with each other, I guess. We ended up just being good friends. It took us a while to get there, but eventually we realized it’d be better for us to go our separate ways and just stay friends. That way we wouldn’t hold each other back in any way. But she’s still one of my best friends.”

“That’s great,” Julie said. “That you’re still friends, that’s awesome.”

“You think so?” Rob asked.

“Yeah, of course,” Julie said, looking a little confused at his response.

Andrew thought he knew what was going on in Rob’s head. “You don’t think we, uh, judge you or anything for getting married, right?” He said.

“Um. I don’t know,” Rob replied, biting his lip absently. “I kind of, stopped believing for a while.”

“Of course we don’t judge you,” Julie said fervently.

“No,” Andrew agreed, letting the tips of his fingers dip underneath the collar of Rob’s t-shirt. “You have no idea how many times we’ve talked about you since the day we met,” he paused for a second. “All we could really hope for- was that wherever and whoever you were, that you were happy. Of course we’re  _selfish_ , and we couldn’t wait to find you, but all we wished for was for you to be happy. And now that we know you were, even for just that amount of time, I think I speak for the both of us when I say we’re grateful for that. We would never, ever begrudge you that.”

Rob looked taken aback, letting out a long breath. He brought a shaky hand up to wipe at his eyes. “Wow,” he mumbled. 

Andrew took the liberty of scooting a little closer and putting his arm more firmly around the other man’s shoulders. He felt Rob relax underneath his touch, and smiled.

“So, okay,” Rob smiled, and Andrew thought that look on his face might be relief. “What do you, uh, what would you want this to become?” He asked, looking first to Julie and then Andrew.

Andrew caught his wife’s eye and they smiled. They had talked about this at length, of course. What they wanted, in an ideal situation with Rob. They had both - always - wanted to meet him and get to know him and incorporate him into their lives. They had both - always - dreamt about being in a happy, healthy relationship with both of their soulmates.

“Well,” he started. “We wanna keep getting to know you. And we wanna see where it goes,” he said carefully, trying not to come on too strong. “And hopefully, I don’t know, we can work it out together.”

Rob didn’t look terribly surprised. He looked hopeful. “Yeah?” he said, turning to Julie for confirmation.

“It’s all I want,” she said candidly, and brought up the back of his hand to kiss it. “What about you?” she asked. 

He looked a little flustered, suddenly, looking between the two of them. “I mean. Yeah. I’d like that.”

Andrew hugged him a little closer to his side and gave him a peck on the cheek, enjoying that he was allowed to do that. He saw Julie beam at them in the corner of his eye. It really did feel like they were about to get everything they’d ever dreamt of.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's a shortish chapter! Longer next week!

After they had left Rob’s house that day, she and Andrew had had a fairly wide-eyed, giggly talk about Rob, and how they’d felt when they were around him. It definitely made Julie feel like a schoolgirl with a first crush. She had always wondered if she would respond romantically or sexually to her second soulmate as soon as she met him, or if that would come later. Now that it’d happened, she knew that at the very least, it was a very powerful response she had experienced. Of course he was attractive. Even though he was so different to Andrew she was still attracted to him. Aside from his physical appearance - his strong arms and the lean shape of his body - he had this charisma and this disposition that just drew her to him.

They had said goodbye that day with warmer, longer hugs than they had said hello with, and she found that despite his apparent nervousness throughout the visit she had felt so safe and calm in his arms. She couldn’t explain it necessarily, but she really enjoyed the way he made her feel.

The second time they met it was at one of her and Andrew’s favorite coffee places, where family somehow became the main topic of conversation. Rob told them a little more about his family, his older sisters and older brother, and how protective they all were of him when they were growing up.

“-so they were there just throwing these cranberries at the cars, and one of the cars pulled up, and the guy driving was so pissed off he started chasing us through the neighborhood,” Rob said. “Now, I was just there, I wasn’t even doing anything, but I had to run too. So we got to this super high fence, and my brother and his friends just leaped over it, and, well, you’ve seen me - I couldn’t exactly do the same.”

She and Andrew both chuckled. It was true, he was pretty tiny. She could just imagine him as the cute, nerdy little brother tagging along, so much smaller than his friends.

“So I thought they’d left me!” Rob laughed too. “But then Ann’s hand appeared and reached down and pulled me over!” he mimed being pulled over a fence, and Julie realized he was good at acting out stories like this because of his profession.

“That’s a great story,” Andrew said, still smiling.

“So, uh,” Julie began after a moment, chewing on her lip as she tried to put words to what she had been wondering. “What’s your mother’s take on you having two soulmates?” She asked.

Rob smiled fairly easily. “Mom is pretty liberal when she wants to be. She’s good with it. Not gonna say that she encouraged me when I talked about wanting to meet you, but yeah, she’s good. She wants me to be happy,” he said. “Plus, my dad always hated the fact that I had two soulmates, so if nothing else she was determined not to mind just to be contrary. What about your folks?"

 

* * *

  
  
Andrew and Julie grimaced at each other. Andrew decided to take the lead on this one. “They’re both pretty bad, to be honest. Julie’s parents have warmed up to it a little, in keeping with the times, you know, but mine are still pretending it’s not even real.” _Like_ you’re _not even real_ , went unspoken.

“I see.”

“Dad still doesn’t like to talk about it, though,” Julie volunteered. “Sometimes I wonder if he’s just hoping he won’t ever have to deal with it.”

Andrew agreed. “My dad is a lot like that, too, he’s always been reluctant to talk about it. Mom’s the one who’s been openly hateful.”

“I’m sorry you had to experience that,” Rob said.

Andrew could follow his line of sight down to his uncovered wrist. He hadn’t put the band back on since Rob had taken it off a few days ago. “I don’t care what she thinks,” he said firmly. “It doesn’t matter to me.”

“But it must’ve, I don’t know, made you skeptical, growing up around that kind of attitude,” Rob said, looking him in the eyes again.

“No, um, not really. I had a great teacher in high school who talked at length about it, but even without that I was always just looking forward to meeting both of you,” he smiled. “I don’t know, maybe I should’ve turned out a skeptic, but for some reason- that didn’t happen. Julie and I have always been on the same page about it, haven’t we?” he said, looking to his wife.

“Yeah, most of the time,” she said, a little too brightly.

Andrew squinted at her. “What do you mean most of the time?”

There was a bit of an awkward silence. Julie smiled stiltedly. “Maybe now’s not the time,” she said.

He would press her on it, but he figured she was referring to that fight they’d had the night before their wedding, and that wouldn’t be a great thing to discuss in the middle of a coffee shop. “Okay,” he said, tone of voice not unkind.

Rob looked probably the most ill at ease Andrew had ever seen him. “I wouldn’t wanna-” he looked down at his coffee mug. “I wouldn’t wanna make things uncomfortable for you. With each other, with your families.”

“That’s not gonna happen,” Andrew was quick to say. “Rob,” he emphasized. “We want you here.” He looked at Julie and saw that she seemed a little upset.

“Absolutely,” she echoed his sentiments. “Look, do you have anything to get back to, right now?” she asked Rob.

“No,” he shook his head slowly.

“Then you need to come with me,” she said, getting up. “I’ll see you tonight,” she whispered in Andrew’s ear, and he pulled her down to kiss her goodbye. She had that determined look in her eyes that she got when she was faced with a problem and knew exactly how to tackle it. He knew better than to mess with that.

“Okay?” Rob sounded confused but rose as well. “Are you coming?” he asked Andrew, who responded with a gentle shake of his head. He still got up, though, meeting Rob as he rounded the table. He pulled him in tight, arm wrapped around his waist.

“I’ll see you soon,” he murmured.

“You will,” Rob replied, running his hands down Andrew’s back before stepping away. Julie stood next to them, holding out her hand for Rob to take, which he did. They took Rob’s car, leaving Andrew to drive his and Julie’s home.

 

* * *

  
  
Rob looked up at Julie as she took his hand and led him away from his car and up to the top of a hill, what looked to be the start of a hiking trail. They sat down on a bench at the top, looking at each other more than at the view.

“This is one of my favorite places to go hiking,” Julie said. “And I come here just to think sometimes.”

“I can see why,” he replied, waiting to say anything else to see if she would take up the subject that they had left somewhat strangely at the coffee shop. Not that he minded this excursion, but it _had_ been a little abrupt. And there had seemed to be something creating tension between Julie and Andrew in those last few minutes of their conversation.

It made him feel so awkward, like he was insinuating himself into this relationship where he didn’t belong. Which, in a way, he was. They had both been so open and kind and approachable to him, and that was amazing. In that way he felt that maybe they did all meet at just the right time, when they were all open and ready for it.

He had felt completely intoxicated by the time they’d left his house the other day. There was an instant physical attraction between them, but also an instant emotional attraction, and after feeling that come on so strongly, he found that he couldn’t blame the many people who rushed into marriage as soon as they met their soulmate. He used to be more judgmental than he had the right to, he realized.

Meeting them again now, at the café, had perhaps been slightly more stilted than their first meeting. Rob figured it was because they had a certain amount of expectations of each other now. Feeling Andrew, the epitome of tall, dark and handsome, so insistent on enveloping him in his arms before they left, it gave him a heady sort of rush. Julie, for that matter, was attractive in a similar, but more subtle way. She was such a steady presence, so confident and resolute. He really envied that, and he found it immensely attractive.

Putting her hand on the back of the bench and turning towards him, Julie began talking.

 

* * *

  
  
_Fall, 1994_  
  
  
Julie was staying with her parents the night before the wedding, mostly because her mom and aunt were helping her get ready in the morning. Finishing up an album review for a magazine, afternoon sun spilling in through the bedroom windows, she began to feel a little nervous about tomorrow. The gravity and weight of the marriage had hit her a long time ago and she was mostly just happy about taking that step forward, but now the practicality of the actual execution was starting to get to her. How would the pictures turn out? Would it rain? What would her cousins say about her behind her back? She needed to speak to someone before she let this train of thought make her nauseous.

Making her way down the stairs, she could hear her father speaking mutedly to someone on the phone. Knowing he got tetchy if interrupted, she tried to be as quiet as possible on her way to the kitchen, where she’d probably find her mother, Eleanor. Before she could make it there, something in her father’s voice made her stop in her tracks.

“They have certainly been putting their lives on hold for far too long -- Mhm -- I don’t know about your boy, Martha, but for us it’s been nigh-on tragic to see how much stock Julie puts into that nonsense. -- Yes -- Thank god they found each other so soon. Now they can forget about that idiocy.”

Gerry was almost certainly talking to Andrew’s mother Martha, and the subject matter was clearly a reason for Julie’s ears to be burning. Shocked, she covered her mouth with her hand and tried to will her heart to slow down. She couldn’t believe that this was how her father really felt. They hadn’t spoken about hers and Andrew’s other soulmate in a long time, and she knew neither of their parents approved of the idea of him, but to treat their soulmate as a pipe dream, to expect them to give up hope on him? She felt hurt. After a long silence she heard her father begin to speak again.

“Hey- hey -- wait a minute now, Martha. Don’t go blaming all this on my girl. We can’t pretend to know all the reasons why they haven’t gotten married until now. It’s not any of our business either way.”

There was another pause, with Julie only feeling mildly comforted by Gerry’s defense of her against Martha. She wasn’t sure she’d want to know what Martha was spouting off, but whatever it was, she wasn’t at all surprised. Martha never so much as alluded to their second soulmate in front of her, but Julie had heard all about her true feelings from Andrew.

“Come on, now. Isn’t that a little harsh?” Gerry said in a placating tone. “You do know that sexuality isn’t as black and white as all that, don’t you? There are people who can fall in love with both men and women.”

Julie felt her heart warm for just a second, debating whether to leave now and spare herself the rest of whatever was left of this conversation. Before she could make a decision her father spoke again.

“Hm -- Yeah -- Well, I don’t suppose it’ll ever become relevant anyway. Nobody in their right mind would enter into a relationship with two people who are already married. I wouldn’t wish that on my worst enemy,” he chuckled. “Plus, meeting your soulmates and finding out they got married without you? That’s gotta hurt. -- Indeed -- Yes, I will see you both tomorrow. Give my best to Charlie -- Bye-bye.”

Julie scrambled to get up the stairs again before he left the living room, her plans of speaking to her mother now definitively aborted. She was absolutely horrified, trying to process everything she’d heard. It seemed as though Martha had said some truly despicable things. But the worst part, what really got to her, wasn’t anything that Andrew’s mother could have said. It was that Gerry thought that them getting married would make Robert not want them, whenever they did finally meet. It was one of the reasons it’d taken them so long to decide to get married in the first place. Julie had felt as though doing so would be tantamount to betrayal. It had taken her a lot of time and late night talks to work through that fear, especially seeing as she had spent so long pretending she didn’t even feel that way. Her father’s words brought all that stuff back to the surface.

She stood there, staring at her reflection in the bathroom mirror, for far too long. She wondered - not for the first time - what Robert would think, if he could see her now. She thought she had gotten through this, and she’d believed Andrew when he reasoned that Robert would understand, but now she wasn’t so sure. Her father was always so rational and intelligent, maybe he was right about this too.

She splashed water on her face and around her eyes, which were getting red, and then she grabbed her car keys, left the house, and started the drive back to the home she shared with Andrew.

 

* * *

  
  
_April, 2009_  
  
  
After listening to Julie tell the whole story, and reassuring her that her worries were, and always had been, unfounded, he ended up with her head buried in the crook of his neck, rubbing circles down her back. He absolutely could not bear to see her crying. Not even when it was partly due to relief and a release of long pent up tension.

“Hey, you’re okay,” he murmured, putting his hand on her cheek to get her to look him in the eye. He didn’t know what he had done to deserve her. “We’re both okay, right?” he said, in reference to his own fears that she and Andrew wouldn’t want him after finding out that he had been married.

She smiled softly at him, such gratitude in her eyes, something which was slowly morphing into something else. She didn’t respond other than to put her hand on his forearm, keeping it in place. She drifted closer, and he sensed a shift in atmosphere, allowing himself to be pulled in. A powerful thrill went through him as their lips touched, spurring him on. He wanted to prove to her how he could never hold it against them that they’d gotten married, quite the opposite: he was happy to see them settled, and excited to see if there was a place for him there. Their kisses were getting progressively more heated, and he had to stop himself from grabbing her and pulling her into his lap, when she pressed a lingering, close-mouthed kiss to his lips before pulling away.

He was immediately afraid of awkwardness, but relieved to see her smiling at him. She seemed to wait until he smiled back, sort of incredulous, before she tucked herself into his side. He instantly accommodated her, a hand on her waist. She was wearing jeans and a t-shirt today, a lot less dressy than the first time they’d met, but it fit her just as well.

“I think Andrew’s gonna be jealous when I get back,” she said, and when he looked he saw a smug smirk on her face.

He couldn’t help but mirror it. “Oh yeah?”

She nodded, and leaned across to steal another kiss, more chaste this time. Like they could just do that now. Rob’s head spun with the possibilities.

Something else popped into his mind, though, from before, which brought him down a little bit. “I hate to be a downer, but,” he began. “I really am sorry that your parents said those things.”

The whole story had made him sad. To know that he’d been creating friction not only between Julie and Andrew but also between them and their parents, without even being there, it was- He knew it wasn’t his fault, but he was still saddened by it.

“It’s not your fault,” Julie said, echoing his thoughts, and he smiled.

“I know that,” he said.

“It really doesn’t matter right now.” She leaned her head against his shoulder, mumbling, “I still can’t believe you’re here.”

He looked down at her, tucking a strand of light brown hair behind her ear. He could only echo her sentiments. They sat there until the sun began to dip beneath the horizon, Rob feeling a new kind of contentment sink into his bones.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Explicit (but probably not the way you're thinking)
> 
> You can skip the explicit section in this chapter without missing anything crucial to the plot.

“You should come in.”

“Uh- I-” Rob took his hands off the steering wheel and looked at her. He wasn’t sure what she was implying, but it made him nervous. “I’m not sure-”

“Oh, no! Not- like that,” Julie exclaimed, blushing. Her hand landed on his forearm. “Just, come in, have some dinner with us.” She sounded so earnest that he couldn’t really say no. He had an audition early in the morning, but he supposed - it wasn’t so late. Plus, the last thing he wanted to do was leave. He and Julie had turned a corner in their relationship, and he didn’t want to go yet.

“If- you’re sure?” he glanced at her, diffident.

“Of course,” she asserted, looking as if no other answer was possible.

“Okay,” he mumbled, trying not to blush at the intensity of her eyes on him. They got out of the car at the same time.

He was nervous about what Andrew would say, and, _oh god,_ would she tell him about the kiss? Suddenly panicking a little bit, he looked at Julie, whose eyes noticeably softened before she took his hand for the rest of their walk up the driveway. Every casual physical contact already felt natural with her, he reflected. He wanted that, with both of them. She unlocked the door and he followed her through. It was the first time he was seeing their home, and it was large, and spacious, and bright, even in the twilight. It was eerily quiet for a second while they were hanging up their jackets, and for some reason he felt slightly uncomfortable in his own skin, not entirely sure of his welcome. Then he heard voices floating down the hallway on the other side of the room, until Andrew appeared with an older woman in tow. He was distracted by the sight, but caught the tail-end of Julie’s alarmed look at Andrew. As soon as he made eye contact with Andrew he knew that, somehow, this was a really bad time.

“Oh, Julie, sweetheart, there you are!” The woman went to embrace Julie.

“Martha!” Julie said, a slightly manic edge to her voice, but returning the hug.

The name clicked in Rob’s head. This must be Andrew’s mother, a woman who had decided long before either of them met each other that she wasn’t going to like him.

“And who’s this?” Martha asked, gesturing towards him, before he managed to work through all the conflicting thoughts in his head. Beginning to sweat, he felt his anxiety come on in a way it hadn’t in a long time. He looked desperately to Andrew. He had to follow his lead on this, it was _his_ mother.

Thankfully he stepped forward, looking incredibly uncomfortable. “Mom, this- this is Rob,” he said gravely.

After a few seconds, Martha seemed to freeze. She didn’t look at him, or move to shake his hand. Instead he watched her turn to address only Andrew.

“I see,” she said, sounding what Rob could only describe as resigned. “So that’s why you’re not wearing your soul band.”

“Yes. That’s why,” he replied firmly. Andrew towered over her, so Rob could see his expression of horrified indignation. “Mom. Are you not going to-?”

Instantly she turned around. “It’s very nice to meet you, Robert,” she gushed, with a very clearly put upon expression of sweetness. He returned her handshake, perhaps more firmly than he should have.

“L-likewise,” he stammered, high-pitched.

“So how did you two meet… _Rob_?” Martha asked Julie, this time.

Julie ended up explaining everything in shallow terms, about the webpage Andrew found, the email he sent, and about Rob’s subsequent phone call.

“I see,” she said again, and Rob couldn’t help but feel irked by the utter contempt he thought he could discern in her voice. “I don’t suppose you’ll be talked out of this,” she continued.

“Especially not you,” she turned to Julie.

“Excuse me?” Julie said incredulously.

“Well, we all know how this is really going to work, don’t we?” Martha said harshly.

There was an awkward beat of silence, tension feeling like it was about to snap. Julie looked insulted, Andrew looked dumbfounded, and Rob didn’t know what to do with himself.

“Call me about that property when you’ve looked into it, will you?” Martha said suddenly to Andrew, giving him a half-hearted pat on the arm as he refused to meet her eyes. Awkwardly she made her way past Rob and Julie by the front door, closing it behind herself with a definitive thud.

The three of them collectively exhaled.

“When did she get here?” Julie asked into the silence.

“About an hour ago.” Andrew ran his hand over his face, then crossed his arms over his chest. “Didn’t you get my text?” he asked, almost confrontationally.

“Shit. Well, no.” Julie patted her pockets for her phone. “I had it on silent, and, you know- I was distracted,” she said, gesturing to Rob.

Rob felt, and saw through their body language, that they were upset. Andrew more so than Julie, understandably. He felt like he shouldn’t be here. He was intruding. Worse, he was the cause of all this.

“I’m so sorry.”

“You couldn’t have known,” Andrew said with some delay, mind clearly elsewhere. A few moments passed where none of them said anything.

Then Andrew muttered “fuck” under his breath, giving Rob a long, indecipherable look, before leaving through the hallway that Rob assumed led to the bedrooms.

Julie turned to him. “He’s just- upset.”

“Of course he is. So are you,” he said, not sure if she’d bothered to take stock of herself. He didn’t want to make things worse between them. “I should probably go.”

“No, I know what you’re thinking,” she said reproachfully. “We just had this discussion, remember? It’s not your fault that she reacted that way. We always knew she’d be like that. Andrew’s upset now, but he was expecting something like this.”

“That doesn’t necessarily make it easier,” he said, thinking briefly about his father, whose opinion he should by all means not give a shit about.

“I know,” she agreed. “It would’ve been easier if we’d been more prepared. We were gonna wait until-” she cut herself off.

“Until we’d known each other for more than a few weeks,” he supplied, feeling a little demoralized.

“Until everything was a little more settled,” she qualified, reluctantly.

He smiled ruefully. “Look, I don’t want to intrude-”

“Please stay,” she insisted, taking his hands. “Andrew wants you here. I want you here.”

Rob swallowed some intense emotions that were about to bubble up after hearing her say that. This was on him. His first instinct was that extricating himself from the whole situation would be better for all of them, or at least for Andrew and Julie. But he wasn’t an idiot. He knew - at least he thought - that the tentative bond between them and the fledgling set of emotions he was already feeling towards them was mutual, and he didn’t want to make them believe that it wasn’t by leaving right now. He wasn’t going to make this about himself. He took a deep breath, taking a small step forward, subconsciously telegraphing his desire for some sort of physical contact. It felt natural, so soon, to reach for that. She fell into his arms, and he felt the tension between them dissipate. He closed his eyes without a conscious decision.

“Come on,” she mumbled eventually, and gave him a quick kiss on the mouth before taking a step back. “Let’s take a seat in the kitchen.”

She led him into the open plan kitchen to the left of the entryway and they sat down at the breakfast island.

“Hey, what was with Martha blaming you like that?” Rob asked, suddenly remembering that odd exchange.

Julie sighed. “I- I don’t know. I have a theory, but… I’ve never actually heard her talk about any of this. All I know is from that phone call I told you about, and what Andrew has said.” She paused. “But I think _she_ thinks that, since she’s always known you were a man and she’s convinced Andrew’s straight, she’s got it in her head that if we met you, Andrew wouldn’t be capable of-” she stopped.

“Capable of-?” he asked.

“Of falling in love with you,” she whispered. “She thinks-” she paused, “that I’ll cheat on him with you.”

“Well, that’s bullshit,” he said candidly.

She huffed, smiling. “Yeah.”

Rob took a second, and found that there was nothing more he could say on that topic, no way to find an instant fix, so he changed subjects and asked about her work. He managed to wheedle out a promise from her to send him a link to her podcast on iTunes, before she asked him in return.

He told her about the couple auditions he had coming up and the one small role he was scheduled to shoot in a few weeks. He figured they were both happy to be talking about something a little more lighthearted. Rob hadn’t really realized, but he was feeling pretty emotionally wrung out.

“I’m gonna check on him,” Julie said during a lull in the conversation. She started looking through some papers on the counter and handed them to him. “You can pick the takeaway,” she smiled.

“Sure,” he murmured, a little taken aback when she ran her hand over his shoulders on her way out of the room. He’d never been this physically comfortable this soon with any of his girlfriends or lovers before. People always said that meeting your soulmate was a whirlwind, but that hadn’t exactly prepared him for it. He was itching to talk to Andrew more, wanting to make sure that he was okay and that there were no hard feelings. That he still wanted to ‘make it work’, as he’d put it. He caught himself biting his nails, as he was wont to do when his anxiety set in, and tore his hand away, looking down at the various takeaway menus to try to finish what Julie had asked him to do. 

Rob had just responded to an inquisitive text from his friend Brad - he still hadn’t told him about finding his soulmates - when Andrew and Julie came back, looking to be in much better spirits than before.

“I’m really sorry about all that,” was the first thing out of Andrew’s mouth. He went to sit next to Rob. “I sorta freaked out and I had to call my brother. We’ve talked about this kind of thing a lot.”

“Yeah?”

“I’m gonna speak to mom soon and he said he’d be there when I do.” He shook his head but started to smile. “I told you we’d work it out, man.”

Julie came up to Rob’s side and slipped her hand around his waist. “Too right we will,” she smiled.

 

* * *

 

“Heard I should be jealous about earlier,” Andrew said, later, while they were waiting for the Chinese food to get there.

Rob felt his mouth twitch. He glanced at Julie next to him. “But who should you be jealous of?” he asked, feeling bold, taking a sip of his wine.

“Ah, Julie, for sure,” he replied, eyes fixed on Rob, almost uncannily intent. Rob felt his face heat up.

They moved on, leaving Rob with the distinct feeling that they were talking around the tension, mundane subjects filling the conversation until the food arrived. They moved to the dinner table, opening the containers and sharing the food between them, and it was a much more relaxed affair than Rob had been expecting. He was expecting to feel nervous, wary of not being perfect or exactly as they’d hoped, but inexplicably, they put him at ease. They were both confident personalities, he had noticed, but that was nothing less than he had expected of his soulmates as that had always been the trait that most attracted him to someone. They were also both very down to earth - Rob got the impression that neither of them had any interest in playing games with him or with each other.

“Did you ask about the band yet?” Andrew said while they were eating. He turned to Rob and said conspiratorially, “she’s got a thing for that.”

Julie’s face reddened. “Honey!” she protested.

Rob’s smile widened at her obvious reaction. “No, she didn’t.”

They both looked at Julie in anticipation.

“I just wanted to know how you ended up starting a band,” she said sheepishly.

Rob told them the story of meeting Mike through mutual friends in LA and how they started playing together and writing some songs together for fun. “Then we met Steve- and he looked like this 80’s hair metal dude so I never thought he’d wanna join us, but he did, and then after that is when we could really call it a band. Then we had a guy in the band, Dave, for a while, until we had a bit of a falling out with him, and it was just me, Mike and Steve for a few years.” He glanced at Julie, wondering if he was boring them, but Julie looked like she was intently listening to him. So he continued, explaining that he had been insecure about his guitar playing and that it’d been holding them back not having another guitar player, and then about Billy joining a few years ago. “It feels like - for the first time - like it could be something really good,” he said, for a moment forgetting himself and imagining a future where his band actually received some sort of critical acclaim. Then, shaking that vision out of his head, he conceded, “but it’s just a hobby.”

Andrew and Julie looked at each other, some sort of silent communication passing between them. “I think we’re gonna have to see for ourselves,” Andrew said.

Rob smiled in response. “You’ll like it, I think. You should come to our next gig.” That gig was a comfortable four months away, at which point Rob hoped that he would be able to better stomach performing for them.

“We’d like that, wouldn’t we, babe?” Andrew said, hand moving to rest on Julie’s thigh.

Julie cleared her throat. “We do have a guitar…” she trailed off, looking at Rob hopefully.

 _Shit_. He wasn’t remotely prepared for that. It would be one thing performing for them on stage with the guys, but here? On his own? Right in front of them? “Uh, I don’t think I can-” he fumbled.

“No worries,” Julie said immediately, noticing his discomfort. “Maybe some other time.”

“Mhm,” he mumbled, still picturing it. They talked some more about the band, and then Rob asked how Julie got into writing about music, and she told him about her degree in music.

Rob didn’t miss Andrew’s indulgent smile at them through their whole, long exchange about music and the business. He chipped in here and there, so Rob got the impression that he _was_ interested in it, just not to the same degree as Rob and Julie. Rob was aware of more and more time passing, the remains of their takeaway growing cold on the table as Andrew and Julie finished a second bottle of wine. Rob had only had one glass, at the start of their meal, despite the desire to have some more. He had to drive home at the end of this, and one DUI was enough for him, thanks.

“I should probably get going,” he said, after Andrew had finished telling him about an incident at work the other day.

Another look passed between Julie and Andrew.

“I’ll walk you out,” Andrew murmured, and they all got up.

“Thanks for staying,” Julie whispered in his ear when she hugged him goodbye.

Rob had almost forgotten about the earlier events. “Thanks for wanting me to,” he whispered back. Before letting go he leaned forward, focused on Julie’s eyes for signals that he was unwelcome. Finding none, he captured her lips firmly, but pulled back much quicker than he would’ve liked. The awareness that Andrew was watching didn’t make it any less hot. Figures Rob would have a voyeuristic streak, two soulmates and everything. For some reason, it hadn’t crossed his mind before.

As he drew back he felt Andrew’s fingers come to rest lightly on his hip. His breath hitched. Julie watched as Andrew led Rob out through the front door, hand still on his hip. Rob wondered if it was deliberate or subconscious or just an accident - Andrew knew that’s where his soul marks were.

“I’m sorry about earlier,” Andrew said as Rob turned around to face him.

“You got nothing to be sorry about,” Rob insisted. “Your mother’s prejudice is not your fault.”

“I never wanna see anybody treat you like that, though,” he said, clearly pained. Rob sensed a protective trait in him, something that he appreciated. “I’ve always thought, maybe once you weren’t just an idea to her anymore, she’d come around.”

“She still might,” Rob said, resolutely ignoring the inadvertent implication that _he’d_ be around for that. He noticed Andrew had kept a point of physical contact with him constantly while they were talking.

Andrew smiled softly. “Yeah,” he hummed, moving a little bit closer, until Rob clearly felt the heat of his body.

Rob felt tiny, looking up at him from so close. But it wasn’t a bad feeling, quite the opposite.

“Is it just me, or is this whole thing moving a lot faster than expected?” Andrew asked, voice low.

“I don’t know,” Rob said honestly, hoping that he wouldn’t think that was a bad thing. “How fast was it for you and Julie?”

“Good point,” Andrew conceded, implying that it was pretty damn fast.

“Is that a bad thing?” Rob asked, expecting either obfuscation or an emphatic denial.

“Not from where I’m standing,” Andrew said instead. “I feel like I’ve got some catching up to do, though.”

Barely aware of it, Rob wrapped his hands around the other man’s neck. “Oh yeah?” he murmured.

This whole conversation felt like they were egging each other on. Andrew continued the escalation by wrapping his arms around Rob’s waist, pulling him close against his body.

Having had enough, Rob drew him down and got on his tiptoes, gratified when Andrew met him just as eagerly, crashing into his mouth and helping him keep his balance with the arm tight around his middle. It turned into an open-mouthed kiss almost immediately, Andrew using his other hand to cup Rob’s face.

He broke away from his mouth to kiss down Rob’s neck, making a mark or two and sending chills down Rob’s whole body. Rob pulled him back up to his mouth and reveled in the push-and-pull that resulted, that familiar feeling of wanting to get as close to someone as physically possible. Eventually their heated, almost frantic kiss turned into a series of quick, chaste ones, until Andrew turned his face into Rob’s hair, panting.

As he stood back down, Rob let his hands drift down Andrew’s chest, feeling his muscle definition through his shirt and instantly wanting to see more.

“Yeah, okay,” Andrew said, nearly whispering.

Rob hummed in response, the slightly loopy feeling dissipating as his breathing slowed. He noticed both Andrew’s hands once again firmly on Rob’s hips. He was even rubbing his thumbs idly against more or less the exact spot where Rob’s marks were.

Rob wanted to let him see, let him touch, but this so wasn’t the time or place. He had to go. “This is you,” he said instead, placing his right hand over Andrew’s left.

Andrew met his eyes, almost startled. “I wasn’t-” he began.

“Yeah you were,” Rob interrupted, fairly confident. “It’s okay.” He squeezed Andrew’s hand. “Next time,” he promised.

“I’ll hold you to that.” He bent down to kiss Rob once more, this time completely dominating the kiss and leaving Rob completely breathless, and completely turned on. He held on to Andrew’s shoulders, chest pressing against Andrew’s.

“I have to go,” he said reluctantly.

“Yeah,” Andrew responded, hands roaming over his back. He pushed him back and gave him a final, quick kiss, before he shooed him off towards his car with a muttered curse and a goodbye.

Rob could only grin, getting into his car and waving goodbye, with a lot to think about for the short drive home.

 

* * *

 

Julie watched Andrew say goodbye to Rob from the window in the kitchen, which was angled in a way that let her see the porch. It was dark, and with her eyes adjusted to the brightness of the kitchen, she couldn’t make out any details. But she did see how close they were standing, saw how intimate they looked, saw their first kiss turn into a second and a third.

She’d always worried she’d be a little jealous, of Andrew with Rob or vice versa. Instead the sight sent a shiver down her body, and she couldn’t look away. The contrast between the two of them was hot, but more than that, Julie found herself filling in the blanks left by the darkness with her own ideas of what could happen in the future. Andrew came in smiling, his face flushed red. He looked around for a moment until he saw her by the window, and smirked.

“Watching?” he asked, smug.

“How could I not?” she said, meeting his outstretched arms and looking up at him. “You look hot together.”

“So did you,” he murmured, and in perfect synchronization they reached for each other, surging up into a searing kiss. Julie held on to her husband’s shoulders, his hands what felt like everywhere, until he hiked her leg up around his hips, pulling her in. He had a tendency to pull her _up_ when they were kissing like this, to counter their height difference, and it always made her feel weightless. Simultaneously Andrew tugged gently on her lower lip and pressed a middle finger tight against the seam of her jeans. She knew he was trying to overwhelm her, to take control, so she licked harder into his mouth and trailed a hand towards his crotch.

And he probably knew what she was doing: putting up the pretense of a fight for control until they hit the bedroom. As she started to palm him through his pants, he released her lips and fixed his mouth to her pulse point.

“Can you imagine him doing this to you?” he said, voice low, as his fingers deftly unbuttoned her jeans and slid into them. “Touching you?”

She breathed heavy, gripping his arm instead of touching him: he was winning. “Mm,” she managed, imagining it, just like he wanted. He dipped down to kiss deep into her mouth for a short moment, then pulled back as abruptly.

He let her fully back on her feet and went down to his knees, pulling her jeans and underwear all the way off, helping her step out of them. He placed a few kisses on her thigh and looked up at her, a fire in his eyes she hadn’t seen for a while. They still had a lot of sex, often, but there was an electric quality to tonight that she wasn’t used to. She ran her fingers through his hair, short as it was, thinking: _this is because of Rob_.

Andrew kissed and sucked all over the upper parts of her thighs, teasing her. He licked one of the marks he’d made, until the sensation got under her skin, and she yanked on his hair, making his eyes shoot up. He smirked, parted her legs and lowered his mouth to unabashedly lick a long stripe from her center up to her clit. At her sharp intake of breath, he pulled away again, her hips following his mouth of their own accord. Darkly, he said: “You think he’ll lick you while I fuck him?”

If it weren’t for his hand on her ass, she would’ve lost her balance right there. She saw him touching himself while he continued to lick her, sucking on her clit intermittently.

“You think-” she started, a moan cutting her off, “-he’ll let me suck you off while he fucks you?”

She would’ve considered that sufficient retaliation if it hadn’t made Andrew stop what he was doing and carry her into the bedroom to fuck her into the mattress.

She had missed this, but she couldn’t stop thinking about Rob while her husband made love to her.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A bit of an in-between chapter this time, hopefully it still works. 
> 
> Important note: The character of Brad is meant to be sort of loosely inspired by Rob's real life best friend Bruce McCoy, who is a writer on RuPaul's Drag Race. Since Bruce isn't _really_ in the public eye, and I don't know much about him besides his profession and what he looks like, I didn't want to directly put him in this story.

Rob usually had no reason to regret giving Brad his house keys. They were for emergencies or for watering his plants when he was off shooting somewhere. Brad was a great friend for doing those things and Rob trusted him with practically everything. But not today.

“What are you doing here?!” Rob cried from the middle of his bedroom after seeing Brad barge in with barely a knock to serve as warning.

“What are  _ you _ doing?” Brad retaliated. “I came to see if you were still alive! I haven’t seen you since you left for Vancouver, and when you’re texting me I can tell you’re lying about something.”

“How could you possibly tell?” Rob rolled his eyes, turning back to his pile of clothes on the bed, hands aimlessly going through them.

“BFF intuition,” Brad said, deadpan. “Seriously, babe, what’s going on with you?”

Rob sighed, picking up an off-white dress shirt from the pile. He frowned at it - he’d have to iron it - before putting it on over his t-shirt. “I- I met my soulmates,” he admitted, looking up finally.

“You did? Rob, that’s wonderful!”

Rob looked at him, felt the nerves melt away, and smiled back at his friend. “Yeah,” he breathed.

“If that’s why you’ve been completely MIA, I get it, but why didn’t you tell me?”

Rob looked down self-deprecatingly. “I guess I was just scared that it wouldn’t work out,” he said. “I’m sorry.”   


Brad took a few steps into the room and lowered his hands, having had them crossed over his chest. He had a kind look on his face, the way only Brad could look, when he replied. “I can’t imagine it not working out. I’ve never met a more lovable person in my entire life,” he said.

Rob didn’t know what to say to that.

“You have to tell me everything! Start from the beginning!” Brad continued, making Rob blush as he unintentionally thought back to the other night, at Andrew and Julie’s house. With a private smile on his face he led Brad out into the kitchen, offering him a coffee to drink while they talked. 

After Rob went through the whole story of how he’d met them, he bashfully recounted his first kiss with both of them. 

“And Andrew- being a guy? How’s that feel?” Brad asked carefully.

Rob shook his head. “I spent so much of my life being paranoid that- what? That I wasn’t gonna be able to fall in love with a guy? That I only enjoyed sex with them? I don’t know, all that stuff.”

Brad nodded in understanding. They’d had this conversation many times. “And now?” he pressed, after Rob had been silent for a while.

“Now? It just seems so silly,” Rob said. “I don’t know why I second-guessed myself so much.” He paused. “I just met him and I’m already falling in love with him.”

“You haven’t really told me why you’ve never tried to date a guy properly,” Brad said.

Rob had slept with plenty of guys. God knows they’d talked about  _ that _ . “I guess it just never happened that way. Between college and Mollie coming back I didn’t meet any guys I would’ve dated, and after Mollie, well, you know.”

“Yeah,” Brad smiled kindly.

Rob hadn’t been in a relationship with anyone since the divorce, sticking to one night stands or short flings.

They sat quietly for a while.

“I’m really happy for you, man,” Brad said eventually. “You’ve been waiting for this for so long.”

“Yeah,” Rob said emphatically, thinking of Brad and his husband. They had met when they were in their late twenties. Rob’s smile slipped from his face as he thought back to his encounter with Andrew’s mom. He relayed it to Brad and was, as usual, thankful of the advice he received in return.

“Do I have to ask for my keys back?” Rob asked with his eyebrows quirked, when it was time for Brad to go. 

“Are you gonna talk to me the next time something important happens?” Brad retorted, but immediately broke into a wide, toothy smile. “I’ll be good, I promise.” He stepped forward to give Rob a quick hug, kissing him on the cheek as he pulled away.

Rob must have still looked hesitant, because Brad did a double-take. “By being  _ your  _ soulmates, these are the luckiest two people in the world, I hope you know that,” he said.

“Thanks, Brad,” Rob said, watching as he left. Absently he glanced at his wall clock in the hallway and realized that he only had 30 minutes left before he’d have to leave. He hoped Brad was right.

  
  


* * *

  
  


Brad had barely gotten out the door before Rob’s phone started to ring. He looked at the display. “Steve?”

“Hey, Robbie,” Steve sounded jazzed about something, which was rarely intelligible with him. Rob frowned, looking at his wrist watch.

“What’s up? I’m kinda-”

“Robbie, we got a gig tonight. O’Brien’s.”

“What?”

“Yeah, you said you’d be in LA until the 15th so I sent out an email to our usual venues to call us if they had to switch somebody out.”

“-Fuck,” Rob muttered, rubbing his free hand over his face.

“What’s wrong?”

“Did you call the guys already?” Rob asked. If he hadn’t, maybe they could cancel this one. There was no way he would say no to something that was already decided. They got so few gigs as it was, and when he wasn’t busy acting or auditioning this was what he wanted to be spending his time on. Usually.

“Yep, I said I’d text them to confirm once I called you. Are you busy?”

Rob sighed, thinking of his date today. “I was- I- no, I’m not busy,” he said finally, resigned.

“I’m gonna ignore how tentative that was and just text the guys to get over to your place asap. We got a gig, Rob!”

Rob couldn’t help but smile. He made a split decision. “I’ll tell you when you get here.”

“See you in twenty,” Steve said, hanging up.

Steve’s enthusiasm was infectious, and Rob couldn’t begrudge him that. But he still had to call Andrew and Julie and cancel tonight, and that didn’t feel right. They’d had to wait until today to see each other again because of Andrew’s work, and Rob wanted to take advantage of his free time, which was obviously a lot more rare than that of a periodically out of work actor. It did cross his mind to invite them along, but just the thought of that had his stomach turning and he felt like he wasn’t ready for that at all.

He found their landline in his phone and dialled.

“Hello?” 

“Julie, hey.”   


“Hi, sweetie. Everything alright?”

She must have known that he’d need to be on his way in the next few minutes if he wanted to get there by the time they’d agreed.

“Ah- I’m gonna have to take a rain check on tonight,” he said.

“Oh no- It’s Rob,” he heard her say, a little quiet.

“Put him on speaker,” Andrew’s slightly muffled voice came through, and then the sound quality changed noticeably. “Hi, Rob!”

Rob grimaced into his phone.

“Rob was just saying he- can’t come tonight,” Julie said for him.

“Oh,” Andrew said, and Rob could hear the disappointment in his voice. It made him feel awful.

“I- yeah, the band got a last-minute gig. I gotta do it. We gotta take all the opportunities we can get, you know, and I can’t let the guys down, so-” he rambled.

“No, of course,” Julie said. “It’s okay, don’t worry about it.”

“I’m really sorry,” he couldn’t help but say.

“Really, you don’t have to be,” Andrew said. “We’ll see you soon.”

“I mean,” Julie cut in. “Unless- we could come?”

“Uh.” He tried to imagine it. Singing his songs in front of them. Letting them see that part of him. “I don’t know if-” he cut himself off. The last thing he wanted to do was make them think he didn’t want to see them, or that he was making excuses. But he didn’t know what to do.

“Rob,” Andrew said, sounding like he was going to follow that up with something heartfelt, and Rob just couldn’t hear it. He knew he was fucking up, feeling so panicked just at the thought of having them there, and he didn’t want to hear it. “We don’t expect-”

“I have to go. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’ll talk to you later.”

He hung up. “Fuck,” he said, tapping the phone against his forehead, unable to stop himself. “Idiot, you’re such an idiot.”

He took a deep breath and put the phone back in his pocket. Why couldn’t he just act like a normal person? He  _ wanted  _ them to see him perform. He  _ wanted  _ to show off his music that he was proud of. So why was it so hard?

He put on a brave face as Billy, Mike and Steve piled in, hugging as they greeted each other, since it’d been a while since their last rehearsal. Then Steve asked him what had been up with him earlier and what he’d wanted to tell them. 

Rob sat them down in a circle on the sofas in the living room. Billy was already plucking a melody on his acoustic. 

“Out with it,” Steve said, undoubtedly seeing his expression.

“So. Guys,” he started, seeing Billy look up. He couldn’t stop a smile from forming on his face as he said it. “I met my soulmates.”

“About time!” Mike exclaimed, getting off his chair and patting Rob on the shoulder. “Congrats, man!”

“That’s awesome!” Billy said.

“I see,” Steve said, a knowing look in his eyes. Steve was the only one out of the four of them who hadn’t met his soulmate now. Rob had wondered if part of him would resent Rob for finding his first, but there was no trace of that in his expression. “I’m really happy for you, man,” he said, patting him on the knee. “So was that what you were gonna do tonight? Go on a  _ date _ ?” he waggled his eyebrows.

“Shut- your face,” Rob said good-naturedly, smiling despite himself. “Yeah. That’s what I was gonna do. But the band’s really important to me, you know that.”

“It better be,” Steve joked. “But seriously, you don’t have to cancel with them, just ask them to come.”

Rob’s mouth opened and closed, as he couldn’t figure out how to object to that.

“We totally wanna meet them by the way,” Billy said, smiling mischievously.

“Yeah, I bet you do. I just- I-”

“Come with me for a sec,” Steve said, pulling him aside. “You guys,” he addressed the other two. “Do something useful, get that new song up and running.” He pointed his finger at the instruments that they hadn’t unpacked yet.

“Yes, boss,” Mike said breezily. “Go have your powwow,” he smiled. “Shout if you need us.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Steve said, and Rob followed him into the kitchen.

“What’s the problem?” Steve asked gently.

Rob sighed, looking up at the ceiling. “I don’t think I’m ready,” he said finally.

“How long have you known them?”

“A couple months. It’s a long story, but we talked on the phone while I was in Vancouver, and then we’ve only met a couple times since I’ve been back.”

“And when do you think you’ll be ready?” Steve asked.

Rob scoffed, hardly needing to think about the answer. “Never. Never, I’ll-”

“Then there’s your answer,” Steve interrupted. “If you never feel like you’re gonna be ready to let them see the band, then you might as well do it now.”

“But I just- I panic just thinking about it!” He insisted, hand over his heart subconsciously. Tonight? No! He hadn’t had any time to prepare for this, it couldn’t happen so soon. He felt so incredibly vulnerable when he was singing, and being with Andrew and Julie already made him feel vulnerable enough.

“I get that. You feel ill-prepared. But Rob, even if you wait two more weeks, two more months, the songs are still gonna be the same. The venue’s not gonna be much better. And I’m guessing you already told them about your parents and your childhood.”

“Yeah. Well- most of it.”

“There you go, then. You got nothing to hide.” Steve paused, trying to catch his eyes. “Plus, don’t you think your music’s a pretty important part of who you are? I know you, you’ll wanna go all in with your soulmates.” He waited for a response, eyebrows raised, and Rob nodded. “How are you gonna do that without letting them in?”

Rob looked up at his friend, at the same time both touched and perturbed that he was able to understand Rob so well. “I guess you have a point,” he admitted.

“Yep,” he said glibly, but then gave him a genuine smile instead. “Take a minute. Think about it,” he said, giving him a half-hug before he left the kitchen to rejoin the guys.

And he did think about it. He tried to picture them being there tonight. Performing for them. He was scared of it because his music was so personal to him, but at the same time not up to the standards it could be if they had better equipment and more time to dedicate to it. He always emphasized to people that his music was just a hobby, his extracurricular, that he didn’t care whether people liked it or not. But that just didn’t feel true anymore. Thinking about it, he wasn’t sure that it’d ever been true. He wanted them, when they came to see him, to hear the music at its very best. Perhaps that was too much to ask.

He finished up the dishes that sat in the sink while he mulled it over, as he hadn’t allowed himself to do earlier. He felt like, the moment they saw him do his thing on stage, something about how they viewed him would change. And as much as he wanted to postpone that moment indefinitely, he realized that being a singer and a songwriter was a much larger part of his identity than he wanted to admit, and that they would never really be able to see him for who he was until they had seen that part of him. He hated to admit it, but Steve was right. It didn’t matter whether he did it now or later, it would have to be done eventually. So why not do it now, when they had the opportunity?

His heart instantly started racing as soon as he’d made the decision. Doing the show tonight, with them there, would be really hard. He picked up the phone and dialled their number, for the second time today. He would just have to do it anyway.

  
  


* * *

  
  


Andrew had been a little surprised by Rob canceling their date today. Of course he got that Rob’s band was important to him, but something had felt off about him on the phone. It worried him that the very idea of having them come see his band upset him so much. At least that’s what had seemed to be the problem. He’d had such rose-tinted glasses on for Rob this whole time, everything had been perfect, everything had been going so well. No relationship would be perfect all the time, he knew that, but it was still sort of jarring to realize that maybe something was going wrong.

He was hopeful when he saw that Rob was calling again.

“Hi!” he said.

“Hey. I-”

“Is everything okay?” he asked, in the back of his mind thinking that he should go get Julie, but holding off for now.

“Yeah. I’m sorry about before. I kinda panicked, a little bit.”

“Why?” He couldn’t help but ask.

“Ah- I tried to picture you coming to see the band, and it- honestly it scares me. I don’t really know why-” he stopped himself. “Or, I do, but it’s hard to explain. You guys should come tonight.”

“Really? Are you sure?”

“Nope,” he laughed. “But it’s a stupid hangup that I have and it’s not something I should give in to. So- I want you to come.”

Andrew smiled weakly, wondering if there was something he could do to make it better. “Then we’ll be there. And we're grateful, you know that, right?”

“What do you mean?”

“We're grateful that you wanna be in our lives.” He paused, thinking of what he was trying to say. “You don’t have to be perfect. You’re allowed to be flawed,” he said, realizing that he was saying this to himself as much as to Rob. “I think when people meet their soulmate they put a lot of unnecessary pressure on themselves and the relationship. I don’t want us to do that. All  _ we _ need is for you to want us to be there.” He figured it was clear that he was referring to more than just tonight. “If you don’t-” he took a shaky breath, not wanting to imagine that, “-then that would be okay, but it’s up to you.”

“I do,” Rob said emphatically, and Andrew tried to hide his relieved sigh. “I really do, believe me. But thank you for saying that.” They were quiet for a moment. “I- I have to get to rehearsing, we have a couple new songs we’re gonna try tonight. I’ll text you the venue and everything."

“Alright,” Andrew said, smiling into the phone. “See you tonight. And Rob?”

“Yeah?”

“Trust me when I say you don’t have anything to worry about.” He heard Rob sigh on the other end.

“I trust you.” There was a pause. “Okay.”

He smiled, hearing some of the tension in Rob’s voice let up. “Okay,” he echoed. “Bye.”

They hung up, and Andrew went to find Julie to relay the conversation to her. He was really excited about tonight, but the trepidation from Rob reminded him that they had certain expectations of each other due to being each other’s soulmates. No one should have to live up to someone else’s fantasy spouse. They just had to remember to let each other be real, first and foremost.


End file.
